Confident Identity

Discover Who You Really Are

Archives for September 2017

Does God Love Me?

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Questioning God’s love is easy when difficult, unfair things are happening to you. How can you feel good about life when you give your all and it doesn’t seem to be enough?

How can God love me when life is so hard? I can’t feel God’s love. My life is pointless.

If you feel alone God has not abandoned you.

God loves you whether you feel it or not. Maybe you feel alone because you’re being stubborn, ignoring God, and/or not doing what he says. Maybe God is growing you right now and you’re not supposed to feel all warm and fuzzy.

I have a better question for you. Is God’s love real to you? You know you are a cherished son or daughter when God disciplines you (Hebrews 12:6). He’s training you for his purposes.

Sometimes God lets bad things happen, not because he hates you, but because he loves you. He knows your life will be better in the long run if you go through hard times but continue to follow him. If he gives you an easy life by giving you whatever you want, chances are you won’t get the one thing you need — God. If he lets bad things happen (which we started by sinning) you may lose the earthly things you want but you may start seeking God. And, if you start seeking him you’ll get the heavenly things you need. While it may not feel like it, God is being caring. God wants you to choose him and experience eternal life with him.

God has always been waiting for you to accept his way. But what is God’s way?

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

–Isaiah 55:8-11

God promises his ways are different than ours. He says his ways are better. Then God explains what his ways are.

12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed.”

–Isaiah 55:12-13 (emphasis mine)

God said he has better ways, then he says you will go out in joy and be led forth in peace. He provides imagery showing how good his ways are. Finally, he says this will be his sign that will last forever. A sign that lasts forever can only be from God. Look for the signs in your life. Find the ones you know will last forever.

God’s way is full of joy and peace. If you seek God you will find him. You will find that he is God. You will find his way is full of joy and peace. You’ll find nothing on earth can compare with the joy and peace God gives. God’s way is good and beautiful. God’s way is abundant with life. Of course, right now isn’t perfect because of sin. You may not fully experience God’s way till you’re in heaven. If you’re a Christian you’re not home yet, but, fortunately, home is in you. If you seek God, you’ll find that he really loves you. You’ll find he has a plan and an identity for you.

In my book, Confident Identity I say, “When faced with an impossible situation you need a God who can accomplish the impossible…Even though there are difficult times of not connecting with God, He never forgets those He loves.” You will face times when you need God and sometimes it may feel like you’re alone. Remember God loves you and God never forgets those he loves.

God loves you! Because God loves you, he has an amazing plan for your life. He gave you a unique Identity he made specifically for you. God gave you an identity! Do you see yourself more clearly? Do you want to see yourself through God’s eyes? Do you want to dig into your identity and learn more about yourself? Confident Identity teaches you about your true identity.

Knowing God’s Will

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You have an opportunity…

… to take a new job.

… to travel to an exotic location and provide short-term help.

… to date a guy you just met.

Do you do it or not? What do you do when you have these choices? Maybe something interesting shows up, just out of the blue. Or maybe it’s been brewing for a while. But either way, there comes a time when you have to make a decision — what do you do? These things can be hard for everyone to figure out. Christians have an extra step: How can I know if what I want to do is within God’s will?

Is God’s will supposed to be an added burden, something Christians need to slog through or search for mysterious signs or Bible passages? Maybe it can be a delight. How you think about this has a lot of do with your view of God—is He a cosmic killjoy, trying to steal your fun? Or is he a loving Father who wants good for you? Someone who delights in you?

The God of the Bible is one who is angry with sin, and its effects — brokenness, disease, hurt feelings, injustice — but loves people enough to send his own precious Son to die to pay the penalty for our sins. He desires a relationship with us.

Which brings us back to God’s will.

His desire is for relationship with Him. Do you have one? Do you desire this, either as someone who has never trusted him, or as a Believer who has—is this what you desire in the present circumstance?

If you do want to connect with God, do you see him as a loving Father? When you know Him as a loving Father, involved in your life as someone who created you and knows you intimately, his general commands, found in the Bible, take on a whole different meaning. They are for your good, your protection from possible harm.

So what does the Bible say? Does it speak directly to your situation?

But what if your situation passes these tests? What then? This is true for so many decisions. Your options are lawful, moral, possibly even obviously really good things. Another question becomes, is it wise?

One thing you want to do is to look at yourself.

What are your priorities? Goals? Interests? Values?

If your interest is in learning about other cultures with a view towards using your education overseas someday, for example, then that travel opportunity makes a lot of sense. Maybe.

But even that doesn’t necessarily mean a green light—more of a yellow, proceed with caution.

The caution is wise counsel. This is where learning, asking questions, getting details, talking with people who’ve had similar experiences or goals can be extremely useful. Does it make business sense? Logistical sense? Financial sense? What about relationally? Does it have the potential to build the type of relationships you desire with God and with others, or might it tear them down?

Prayer is a foundational element. As you ask God for wisdom, he wants to share it with you. Asking God to reveal hidden things, asking for him to provide for you, including all information you need to make a decision are valid requests and a part of the process.

But what if you realize you don’t have a sense of your goals and values? Do you feel fuzzy about what you want? You’re just going along with what sounds good, having a good time and enjoying yourself while trying to make sure you have enough material things you need. That’s ok, but it might be that this is an area that you want to develop and grow in.

Knowing God’s will, his desire for you, is a process. Is he going to give you guidance? Yes, he will walk with you through your decision. But, while sometimes he may give you a clear, specific game plan of what to do, there could be other times he’s allowing you to exercise your free will and preferences to make the decision. The Confident Identity workbook allows you to become intimately acquainted with who you are. When you know your goals, your unique gifting, and your personality, you’re able to know God’s will for your life.

Building Confidence

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Confidence—where does it come from and how do we get it?

Hebrews 4:16 tell us we can approach God with confidence in order to find mercy and grace, and help. And there are other places in the Bible where characters are confident, either in their actions (think of David facing Goliath) or their attitudes (Paul being confident that God would perform a good work in people’s lives).

Let’s focus on God’s grace. Grace is getting a good thing not deserved. Eternal life with Jesus is so significant and overwhelming (as in crying happy tears of relief and joy). So much so that it’s easy to stop at that idea. But God desires so much more for us. What did he save us for?

Life abundant—overflowing—is what he desires for us. Removing every trial? Nah. God doesn’t eliminate our suffering in this life, though he hates it. The Bible is pretty clear we will have trials since it instructs us on what to do during them (James 1:2-4). But you can live with clarity and purpose. God’s design builds confidence when you sense what God has for you. Despair fades into the background and hope begins to flow.

God wants you to understand not only mercy, but also his eternal, spiritual truth, that he created you with a unique purpose that only you can fulfill. To move forward in life, start with this understand that who you are and how God designed you means everything and makes all the difference. What if you could have a greater understanding of your personality? Are you an Extravert or an Introvert? What does that even mean, exactly? It means more than just liking to show up in the crowd or not. How do you process information? What are your skills?

Confidence is the assurance of something. To have a Confident Identity means you’re living with the assurance of knowing who you are.

Spend time in prayer, asking God for help, for wisdom and insight. God will do his part, but you have a part, too. You can spend time in wise and thoughtful examination. The opposite of confidence is uncertainty. But knowing who you are, discovering your God given mission, only decreases the unknowns and adds to your confidence no matter where you are on the journey.

My book, Confident Identity, guides you through the journey of discovering and clarifying who you are. Your gifting, talent, spiritual identity—all of this covered by a licensed professional counselor who has helps others push through confusion and doubt. I’ll help you walk forward towards your most authentic and purposeful self.